


Also

by wargoddess



Series: Conjunctions [3]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anal Sex, Experimental Style, Frottage, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Marriage Proposal, implied polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-08
Updated: 2015-02-08
Packaged: 2018-03-11 05:00:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3315020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wargoddess/pseuds/wargoddess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a thing that will happen, and it will be good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Also

This is a thing that will happen, and it will be good.

Alenko will lose Cortez. Only for a few hours, and only in the logistical sense, but still. Cortez will have come to love him by this point, though it is a quieter love than what he felt for Robert, a surer love than what he had with the falling star that was Shepard. Alenko will have come to need Cortez, which maybe is the same thing as love; he's still not sure. He's never going to feel very secure about this. But any loss of time with Cortez, however brief, will always feel terrible... so eventually Alenko will decide that's close enough to love for government work.

He'll find Cortez finally, sitting in the prepped shuttle with most of the lights off and a datapad dangling from his fingers. Cortez won't react when he comes in, nor when Alenko sits down beside him and eventually reaches over to take the datapad before it falls. Of course he'll read it. Alenko's got a lot of integrity, but he's only human, and Cortez is too obviously upset. The words are brief. Extranet low-priority communique, sent months ago and only now reaching the _Normandy_ because they're approaching Sol space.

It's a will. Alenko's eyes widen a little as he reads the terse lines -- and then his fingers, too, loosen. He puts the datapad down, though, as carefully as he can despite his shock. Best not to damage equipment, in these resource-scarce times.

"Well," he'll say, at a loss for comfort and trying awkwardly for joviality instead, "now you've got somewhere to retire to, at least once the Citadel has functional life support in the Strip again."

Cortez won't smile at this, and eventually Alenko's weak smile will fade. He'll touch Cortez's hand in the dimness and find it fist-tight. That will worry him. He's the kind of guy who worries.

"I never wanted anything from him," Cortez will say. It'll be a soft murmur, almost a whisper. "I heard the chatter. Lowly lieutenant turning it over for a commander, some grease-jockey nobody hooking up with the great Shepard..." He'll shake his head, angrily. "Like any of that even _mattered_ , with the world ending. I just wanted to live again. I just wanted him to know how that felt."

Alenko will take a deep breath. This subject is still a taut thing between them, because they both know that Alenko wanted to be the lowly lieutenant in the great commander's arms, and that fear of the very rumors Cortez weathered is what kept him away. Cortez has always been braver, which is ironic given that Alenko's the Spectre, the first-gen biotic, the field agent. But some things aren't about ranks and firsts. Alenko will have learned this the hard way.

"I don't know how I can ever go into that apartment." Cortez's hand will tighten even more beneath Alenko's. "It's been vacuum-sealed since the Reapers hit the Citadel. I mean, we cleaned up a little before we shipped out, but the place was still messed-up from that party, and because Shepard liked having someplace where he didn't have to worry about inspections."

Shepard liked being a slob, in other words. Which may cause Alenko to visualize Shepard's apartment still bearing all the marks of Shepard's tenancy. Toothbrush still on the stand. Dirty laundry still in the hamper. Dishes sitting in the sonic washer, hopefully clean, from that steak dinner Alenko made him. (Just friends. Shepard grinning and teasing Alenko about his cooking while Alenko gave back as good as he got, wishing so much that there could be more.) He'll think of the bed that Cortez and Shepard slipped away to share near the end of that party, still rumpled and unmade. If the apartment's been sealed and without life support all this time, will the sheets still smell of Shepard when they restore the air and heat? Or -- will the apartment have been desecrated by Reapers, during the invasion? Will they find that Citadel citizens broke into the apartment to hide, perhaps in the mad hope that Shepard's property would somehow lend them extra protection? Will they have to dump James' old pizza boxes along with the body parts?

Alenko will choke down queasiness at this thought. Then he'll take Cortez's hand, despite its tightness.

"Sell it," he'll suggest. "Just... sell it and use the money to buy someplace that won't have the memories."

Cortez will immediately look conflicted. "But he wanted me to have it."

"He didn't know it would hurt you like this."

Some of the pain in Cortez's face will ease. "Yeah. Shep was... not the sharpest knife in the drawer when it came to stuff like this. People stuff." He'll force a smile.

Alenko will smile too, with difficulty. He'll coax Cortez's hand open and lace their fingers together, needing the tight grip as much as Cortez does. And he will wonder again, fleetingly, how this strange thing between them came to be -- and whether, if circumstances had been different, there could have been... well. He's never thought of himself as polyamorous. But he knows, now, that he can love two people at once.

Maybe it could've... maybe.

Then Cortez will look at him. "What if I give it to you?"

"What?"

Cortez will turn to face him, growing more animated as he thinks the plan through. "If it's _your_ place, it won't bother me so much. I'll be -- " He'll gesticulate, trying to articulate. "I'll be helping you with it, not picking up Shepard's leftovers."

"Because _I'll_ be picking up Shepard's leftovers." But Alenko will think and never say that he _is_ a leftover, taking up with Cortez, another leftover. He hates leftovers.

But Cortez will cup his cheek to banish his disgruntlement. "You can do that without breaking, Kaidan. You've always been stronger than me."

This will be such a surprise, such a contradiction of Alenko's own thoughts, that it will strike him dumb with consternation. In that silence, Cortez's face will soften. Maybe he'll have started to regret making Alenko deal with his problems. Maybe he'll be struck, again, by how handsome Alenko is, even war-scarred and grim-faced as he has become in the past few years. Whatever the reason, Cortez will slide fingers into his hair, and pull him in for a kiss.

He'll probably mean for it to just be affectionate. Reassuring. But they'll both have been hurt by this situation, old wounds reopened whether either of them is willing to admit it or not. And they are both healthy men, sensual beneath their strong exteriors, both the sort to use touch and silence to convey what words cannot.

So it will be a spontaneous thing, the undressing. The kisses on collarbones and teeth on nipples and hot breath over navels. Cortez will push Alenko to his knees not as some sort of dominance thing, neither of them swings in those directions, but because he knows Alenko finds comfort in the display of expertise... and he's the closest thing to a dick-sucking master that Cortez has ever found. And after Cortez has spent a few minutes cursing quietly and forgetting all his troubles in Alenko's mouth, then Alenko will stand and pull at Cortez. He's not a demanding lover, usually, but there are things that bring them both comfort, and he'll be needing that. Cortez, too. Alenko might crave the wall but Cortez is too short to do that comfortably. The bench is wide and soft, though. Cortez will have used it often for this purpose, mostly with Shepard, but by this point he'll have started to like using it with Alenko, too. (It will have taken him months just to get Alenko to consider the shuttle, after all, prim and proper thing that Alenko is.)

So then it'll just be Alenko lying on his belly, with Cortez resting atop him. They'll be fucking, of course, Cortez's shield-slickened cock a slow massaging glide inside Alenko, but that'll just be the bonus. The real payoff will lie in arms braced, fingers laced, breathing in tandem, chest warm against back, legs a sliding tangle. Bad memories kissed off hot, sweat-dotted skin. At this point in their relationship they'll have made love many times, and they'll both have inadvertently groaned out the wrong name at some point, which means that's no longer a fear for either of them. Consequently they'll have shed the need for names entirely. _"Oh, God. Oh, God." "Nnmmrph -- augh -- c'mon -- " "Yeah. Yeah, okay."_

It'll be so good. So incredibly good.

When it's done Alenko will lie where Cortez has left him, with Cortez heavy and warm atop him, both of them silently recovering. (They'll both like this lots, maybe even more than they like the sex.) Cortez will smooth a hand along Alenko's flank, because Alenko is a beautiful man, and because Cortez can. Alenko will think fleetingly of asking for sex again, then decide he's probably too old for that shit, and be content with the afterglow.

And with this: "I'll take the apartment. If it really will make you feel better." He'll try not to feel like he's taking something that Shepard meant for another. Having _Cortez_ might sort of short-circuit that.

Cortez's stroking hand will go still. "I'm being irrational, aren't I?"

Alenko might shrug, though just a little, because he doesn't want to jostle Cortez. "I'm not one to talk about that."

Cortez won't laugh. Alenko's still fragile. Alenko will always be fragile in this way. But he'll say, "Are you sure _you're_ okay with it?"

"Yeah," Alenko will say. It'll even be mostly true.

Cortez will fall silent awhile, resuming his caresses, and thinking about asking Alenko for another bout. But he won't want to seem shallow. And he'll have something on his mind beyond sex -- or in addition to, or whichever. It's a thing he'll have been thinking about a lot, really, as the _Normandy_ finally approaches Sol space again. They'll be home soon, and things will change. There's one thing he'll want to keep the same.

"We could save on the title-transference taxes," he'll suggest, with a shrug that isn't as nonchalant as he pretends, "if you just marry me. Then it's yours anyway."

He'll see Alenko's one visible eye open, then close. "Then it'll still be yours _too_."

"Well, yeah. But that's different, somehow." This will make absolutely no sense.

Alenko will think: _that makes absolutely no sense_. But he'll say, "If you say so."

Because it won't really be about the apartment at all.

Cortez will relax, minutely. He'll feel like smiling, and resist the urge because his cheek is pressed against Alenko's shoulder and Alenko might notice. Alenko will notice anyway. He'll shift a little, under the guise of getting more comfortable, so that he can smile into the pillow, and because he's pale enough to blush.

They'll both start thinking about coordinated duty rotations. Alenko will ponder: _Kaidan Cortez? Kaidan Cortez-Alenko? Steve Alenko? Shit, how does anybody figure this out?_ Cortez will surprise himself by thinking: _That apartment's got a lot of room for children_. Whoa, there. But well. It does.

Then Alenko will sigh and push up a little, and Cortez will sigh and get up to let him move, and Alenko will roll onto his back, pulling Cortez back down on top of him. This is even better for cuddling, but certain parts will be suggestively close to one another, and neither of them are shallow or old, so it's really just a matter of time before one of them thrusts and the other thrusts back and then they'll be at it again. (Those hypothetical Alenko-Cortez kids will get plenty of exposure to healthy human male sexuality, someday.)

And on the floor, discarded and forgotten where Alenko dropped it, is the datapad. The screen will have gone partially dark: Cortez sets all his equipment to go into power saving mode after an hour or so, but with the last-viewed subject line or filename still showing so he can easily sort between datapads at need. So what will still show at the top of the screen is this: _Last will and testament of Shepard, J., Commander, N7 Service Number_ _5923-AC-2826_. Reflected on the dark screen surface underneath will be two bodies, moving slowly together and breathing out soft laughs and choking back the occasional moan.

This is a thing that _will_ happen. Shepard was better at people stuff than Cortez thinks, after all, and some of this was remarkably easy to anticipate. Had circumstances been different... well. ( _Maybe?_ Yeahno. Try _probably_.) But he knew, knows, has always known: there are many ways to leave a legacy.

And this one will be good.

**Author's Note:**

> This series always felt unfinished, to me, so now it's finished. And since the first one was past-tense and the second one was present-tense, I decided to experiment with future tense here. LMK how it worked, if it did.


End file.
